Sexual Desires of a Woman Read online

  Sexual Desires of a Woman

  By Ashley Goss

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1

  I was at work one day when my phone rang and it was Sarah. I have known her since Junior High and she had recently moved back to Texas after being in Arizona for a couple of years. We were very close when we were younger. She wanted me to come over and keep her company because her boyfriend, Preston, was having a poker party and was inviting all his friends over and she did not want to the only girl with all these men in her house. Plus it would be a great time to catch up. I really wanted to get out of the house since I don't do much besides work go home and sleep every day.

  I walked into Sarah's house, and she looked gorgeous. She had long blonde hair all the way down to her butt and beautiful blue eyes. Everyone was drinking and looked to be having a good time.

  I went over and sat on the couch and began talking to her. That's when I found out that she wanted to set me up with Tyler. Tyler is her boyfriend's best friend or well one of them. He thought every girl in town wanted him. He tried talking to me on several occasions throughout the night but I just was not into it. About halfway through the night, some more people started to show up and of course I didn't know any of them besides Sarah so it was getting a little awkward.

  I was sitting on the couch by myself when I noticed someone looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He was handsome, rugged and had a winning smile and I felt like I had seen him before. He was smiling at me and of course I smiled back. I watched him play from afar and couldn't help but stare. He was older too. He was about five years older than me and I am not usually attracted to older guys.

  My age gap is usually about three years at the most. But, there was something about him that had me intrigued. When I looked at him it was like my life was in slow motion for a brief second. We made eye contact and held it for about thirty seconds and then he went back to playing poker with a smile on his face. I could tell he was losing the game on purpose.

  He got up and walked over to me and told me, "What's a beautiful girl like you doing sitting over here by her?"

  We instantly had an attraction and I felt a fire in the pit of my stomach that I had not felt in a very long time. I could tell that he wanted me and it was nice. We stayed on that couch talking for hours. I realized that I had known him when I was much younger. He used to live across the street from me but he ended up moving away. We both learned a lot about each other that night and we became best friends.

  Sarah, Jake, Preston and I were inseparable after that. We did everything together.

  Chapter 2

  One morning I woke up to an email from Jake.

  I don't know how to start this letter because I am not sure of what I want to say. I told myself I might as well take the risk because it's the only remedy I know that could unburden this feeling that I know you are feeling. Brooke, I can't love you. I know you'll find it hard to believe me if I tell you know how much you mean to me. You are most kind hearted, beautiful woman I have ever met but I can't get close to anyone. It never works out and I can't be the person that hurts you. You mean too much to me for me to do that to our relationship. I hope that you can understand and that we can remain friends like we are and nothing changes. Believe me, if I didn’t have the issues I did then we would be together and I could be a good man for you but I’m not. I am so sorry.

  When I read this email I started to cry.

  I really thought that he could love me more than just a friend. I guess that I was wrong. I can't shut him out because he is my best friend. I can't walk away from him when I know he needs someone in his life. He needs someone that he can trust. He has never been anything but honest with me and I can't get mad at him for that. I guess I always wondered when it would be my turn to be happy. Sarah has Preston and I have always since that night had Jake. I figured that one day he would be able to return the feelings and we could be happy but I was wrong. Maybe I can get him to change his mind. I could show him what it would be like to be with me and maybe get him to see that we are perfect for each other. We never fight and we get along perfectly. We like all the same things and we can sit and talk for hours about the most random things.

  I got up and got dressed. I had been invited to a dinner tonight over at Sarah's house by her boyfriend, Preston. He said that he had some good news that he wanted to share with everyone but it was a secret so not to tell Sarah. I wanted to look nice so I picked out a nice mid length red dress to wear. I wanted to show him what he is going to be missing. I am pretty and I have a pretty nice body I think. Most men stared at me but he didn’t want me. I just find that peculiar. I still want to look my best even though I had got some semi-bad news. I will be fine. I did some final touches to my makeup and headed out the door to Sarah's house.

  I knocked on the door and Sarah answered. She looked gorgeous as always. She was wearing a short white lace dress with her hair in a French braid. I walked into the house and there he was, Jake. He looked as handsome as ever. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt that really brought out his gorgeous eyes and black pants and was smiling talking to Preston. His smile really does light up the room. I went over and gave him a hug, a kiss on the cheek and sat down. Sometimes it was a little weird considering it was always Preston, Jake, Sarah and I doing things together. We were all inseparable. Everyone always think that Jake and I are a couple because we are always together.

  Preston was whispering to Jake about something but I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. Jake got into his shirt pocket and pulled out a little black velvet box. My eyes got big. Is he proposing to Sarah tonight?

  This is great. She has been waiting for this day since they had met. Preston asked us all to start making our way into the dining room for dinner. Jake turned around and took me by the hand and walked with me.

  He pulled out my chair and gestured me to sit and then sat next to me. I could tell the email he sent has changed things. I have caught him staring at me a couple of times this evening and not in a friendly way. Sarah was sitting at the table talking to me when Preston walked in and sat down.

  "So I invited you both to dinner because I have something I want to bring up." He told us all.

  He got up and walked over to Sarah and got down on knee, pulled out the box.

  "Baby, you are my whole world. I can't imagine waking up without you every morning and falling asleep next to you every night. Will you marry me?"

  Sarah looked puzzled and started crying.

  "Preston, I have been waiting for this and I feel the same way. I want you with me every day and couldn't imagine my life without you. Of course, I will marry you." She said as she screeched and kissed him.

  I am over here sitting and practically balling like a baby. I am so happy for them. They have been madly in love with each other pretty much since they met and have been ins
eparable too. Jake looked at me and smiled as we both congratulated them. We ate dinner while Sarah and Preston was all lovey dovey with each other.

  I mean of course I am used to it but they were being extra tonight. After dinner, we opened a glass of wine and started talking about how we all first met.

  Of course, the story of me meeting Jake came up and was told from his perspective. I just sat there listening to him tell it and I felt like there could be something there but he just isn't ready to let there be.

  One day hopefully it will happen but I will just have to deal with it until then. I had drunk too much wine and couldn't drive home so Jake took me home. He walked me inside and helped me get into bed and undressed me. He just stared at me as he undressed me and I could tell he was torn. He wanted to touch me but he couldn't bring himself to do it. So I leaned over and kissed him. It was a sweet and short kiss. He pulled away and stood up.

  "Brooke, we can't do this. I cannot be the guy that messes it up for you. You are an amazing woman and you deserve more than I can give you." He told me.

  "Jake, I know how hard this is for you. I know you have commitment issues and feel like no one can love you but I can and I do love you. I have loved you since the day I met you. I have wanted us to be together since that day. Please trust me when I say I won't hurt you if you let me in." I told him.

  He just stood there looking at me with a puzzled look and walked out of the room and out of the door to go home. I don't know what I should do but that probably wasn't the best way to do it.

  Chapter 3

  I get dressed and meet my best friend Sarah at the Always and Forever to help pick out her dress. She is a southern girl so I am sure it will be something beautiful and elegant. She came out in a trumpet ball gown and it was gorgeous on her. She has such high self confidence and it's amazing to see her walk around. All the guys want her. She is the most beautiful girl in the town. After Sarah picked her dress, I went home and passed out. I was exhausted from the night before. I slept 12 straight hours.

  When I woke up, I thought that I should call Jake. I should apologize for the other night. So I did. He asked if he could come over and talk. I jumped in the shower and got ready for his arrival. I heard knocking on the door and it was Jake.

  "Good morning Jake. I haven't heard from you in a couple days." I said.

  “I just wasn't sure exactly what to say to you or what to do. You are my best friend and you know everything about me good and bad. For you to still be able to look at me the way you do and want to actually have more of a relationship with me is baffling. I can barely look at myself in the mirror." He said.

  "Jake, you are the most honest kind man I know. It was a blessing that you came into my life because I wouldn't have gotten through a lot of my hard times without you. You have always been my backbone." I told him.

  "I just don't know if I will be able to truly love someone or be able to give them the emotional attachment that comes with a true relationship. I have come to terms with that. This is why I only sleep with women that I have no interest in and I make it clear beforehand that there is no strings attached." He said.

  "Jake, I really wish you would just give it a try. I would like to at least try and see what happens, please?" I asked.

  Chapter 4

  "Brooke, we can try but I want to make sure that if this doesn't work out that we can remain friends. Your friendship is much more important to me than a sexual relationship with you." He told me.

  "Jake, I would at least like to try. I have wanted this for so long and I just want to try. You have always been very open and honest with me so I think it will work. I know you trust me." I exclaimed.

  "Okay Brooke. What about dinner tonight here, and a movie? Let’s just keep it casual." He offered.

  "Sounds great be over here at 7pm."

  I was so excited. I had been waiting for this since I met him. We had an instant attraction from the moment I saw him at Sarah's house and I know that we will be good together. I was nervous though it was our first date and wanted to make sure everything went perfect. I hopped in the shower to groom myself to perfection just in case we ended up sleeping together. When I got out, I couldn't decide what to wear. I wanted to look casual but I wanted to make sure I looked hot. I wanted him to want me because god knows I want him.

  I heard a knock on the door and it was Sarah. I had texted her last night to let her know that we were having a date tonight.

  "Brooke, I am so excited for you. I know you have liked Jake well since forever. It’s finally happening. You need to get on that horse. You need to get laid! It’s been way to long girl. You’re probably dried up by now." she said.

  Sex seemed easy for Sarah. She pretty much had the body of a porn star and the sex drive of a teenage boy. The boys flock to her. I only wish men would do that to me. I was definitely jealous. She had her choice of what man she wanted and she had a lot to choose from before Preston came along. She didn’t really date before Preston. She just slept around and wanted to have a good time.

  "I am sorry that I haven't had sex as much as you have. I wanted it to mean something." I told her.

  I wasn’t a virgin but I had only slept with two men in my lifetime. I was very careful when it came to sex. I didn’t really want to sleep with a boyfriend right away. I wanted to make them work for it. I wanted them to earn it. I am a prize, I think, so I feel like they should have to work for it. Is that stupid?

  "You just need to find the right guy to get your sex drive going. One that came makes you turn off your judgmental, hyperactive brain and think with your lower body instead." Sarah said to me.

  "I am getting so nervous and I have no idea what to wear!" I exclaimed.

  I wanted something comfortable since we would be on the couch watching a movie but I wanted something that would be easy to see my cleavage and my legs without looking slutty. Sarah picked out a short denim skirt and a lower cut red lacy tank from the back of my closet. They still had the tags on them and I realized that she had bought these for me. So of course she would pick these out.

  “What a perfect time to try this outfit out I got you.” She said.

  I put it on and braided my hair. I put on a little bit of makeup but not too much. I didn’t want to look like I went all out for him or anything.

  Finally, after Sarah helped me with my makeup she left. Jake should be here any minute and I am getting so nervous right now. I heard a knock at the door. I got butterflies in my stomach as I was walking to the door.

  "Hey Jake." I said as I opened the door to let him in.

  "Hey, are you nervous?" He asked while looking me.

  "I am very nervous actually. Are you? “I asked him.

  “I am not sure. I am not sure how I feel right now. But you look nice.” He said while looking at me up and down.

  I invited him in and told him we could just order in pizza and watch movies. He seemed fine with that. As he sat down next to me on the couch, I noticed his broad shoulders and the way his muscles moved beneath the fabric of his shirt.

  "So, what do you want to watch?" I asked him.

  "I will watch anything as long as it is not The Notebook." Jake started laughing.

  I have no idea what we can watch. So I start going thru my DVD collection.

  "I want something that isn't scary but isn't all about romance either.”

  "I just recently bought Best of Me. You want to watch that?" I asked.

  "Why not! Let's do it." He exclaimed.

  I put the DVD in and sat down on the couch back next to him. I could feel his warmth next to mine and I could tell he was nervous. His hand was shaking subtly. I reached for his hand.

  "Jake, you don't need to be that nervous. I am not going to try and seduce you or anything." I told him laughing hysterically.

  After all, he is still my best friend and I don't feel awkward speaking my mind around him.

  "And here I was hoping you would." Jake said with a wink.

  "I am
not saying that I would be against it. I am just simply stating that I didn't have it in mind at this moment." I replied.

  I would be totally fine with having him all to myself tonight. I would love to feel his warmth closer to me and be able to lie in his arms. I would be fine lying in his arms and just talking.

  The movie finally started and I got a little closer and put my head on his shoulder. I wasn't finally getting close to the guy I had been in awe of for years. I just hope I don't do anything to mess this up for myself. I took my head off his shoulder and put my hand against his cheek and moved him closer to me and kissed him.

  Chapter 5

  This kiss was slow and meant to explore each other. His hand curled around my neck and the other hand pressed against my lower back. The skirt I had on was up around my thighs, and I tilted my hips and moaned. He pressed his lips against my stomach and all my thoughts disappeared. His hands hit a spot that had me arching my back up towards him. Then he started nibbling on my neck. This set me off.

  He worked his way to my breasts, pushing the straps of my camisole off my shoulders so he could expose them.

  I heard a knock at the door.